I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
