i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
