Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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