I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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