just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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