Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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