When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
