...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
