You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize