I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
