Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
