Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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