An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
