Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize