Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
