why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize