I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
