They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
