remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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