found the other keg... it's in the tree
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
