We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize