I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
