The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize