I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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