Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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