I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
