Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
