Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
