Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
