Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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