Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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