my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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