I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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