somebody snuck up and got me drunk
please come you make the beer taste better
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
