I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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