But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
