whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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