Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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