White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
