This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
