The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
