I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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