in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
