So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
my liver is dry heaving
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
