I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
