if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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