how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
