no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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