You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
