I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
