I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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