During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
