"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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