did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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