That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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