Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
