But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize