Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
