It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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