Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
