mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it because I queefed?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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