if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
