Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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