This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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