Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Holy sore nipples Batman
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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