Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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