I skipped work to stalk him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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