ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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