2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
operation harelip BJ is a go
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
