Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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