I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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