She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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