In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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