Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
