ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
