I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
